How hard is it to mind your own business when you’re on public transportation? In fact, in most places, the people who use public transportation are the best at keeping to themselves.
Recently, I was riding the light rail to work. I ran into another student in my program that I only see when there are program functions. He is writing up his proposal for his dissertation work and said that after reading it, his advisor asked him how long he planned on being here. So he was trying to shorten up the proposal…I asked him if there was a technician in his lab that could help him out. He said that they recently got rid of their technician due to incompetence . . .they couldn’t trust his work. I agreed that it was difficult to allow anyone to do any work on your project. You just can’t trust it unless you do it yourself.
Then the conversation shifted to the fact that we both find it hard to participate in program activities during the day that takes us away from the bench since we are so focused on finishing our dissertation work. I said that I had recently gone to a seminar given by a product representative to learn how to use a piece of equipment and mentioned that it was more of a commercial for the product and company than it was an instructional seminar. I said that it was a waste of time.
That’s when it happened. The girl sitting on the seat across from us says something about do we think we’re so smart that we already know everything? After all, we are at a university to learn. Of course my first reaction was to tell her off. What the hell does she know? But the student I was with took it in stride so I said that the product representative are often experts on the equipment rather than the science behind what it’s used for. She accepted the explanation and that was the end of the conversation.
I don’t know if I’m more pissed off that someone who may not have had any clue what we were talking about thought we were pretentious, or that she had the nerve to say it. I think people in the academic community are pretentious all the time . . but I have the self restraint to keep it to myself. .and certainly wouldn’t call a stranger on it.
But what bothers me more than anything is that I don’t know who she was. Based on where we got off the train, she could have been an undergrad, a med student, a hospital worker, a nursing student, a pharmacy student, a doctor, a grad student, a technician, or even a product rep herself. Am I so insecure that I need to know that this girl isn’t someone who could have known what we were talking about .. so I can rest easy that I’m not actually pretentious? Based on the way she spoke and the general terms in which she was criticizing us, my guess is that I can in fact rest easy.
So I guess what I am saying is
1) I try very hard not to be as arrogant and obnoxious as many of the academics I come in contact with routinely. . so either I’m not and this girl is an idiot, or it’s inevitable that some of this attitude will rub off on me, and
2) mind your own business on the train.
Richa said:
WTF? She totally should have minded her own business. Where does she get off criticizing strangers when she most likely doesn’t have context on the conversation? Now that’s arrogance. Not to mention very poor behavior.
That said, I don’t think you’re arrogant or obnoxious about being an academic superstar, but I do think that when people become knowledgeable about a subject, they tend to display a certain…impatience with those that are dabblers in the field, especially as it relates to having to rely on them for work, or anything. I’m sure you’ve heard me rant many a time about how often I’ve called a computer-related tech support line and ended up knowing more than the person I’m calling. Maybe that’s arrogance, but I don’t like to have my time wasted.
September 29th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Prachee said:
Thanks. . I wasn’t sure what to make of the situation since I’ve never really seen it happen before. Usually if you’re evesdropping, you go out of your way to make sure no one knows you’re doing it. It was a little weird. In general, I don’t have a very high opinion of people who say everything that comes to their mind.
October 1st, 2006 at 9:04 am
Lori said:
Yeah, that girl was way out of line.
I had this happen on a train once, too. I was carrying on a relatively quiet conversation with a friend from Columbia, and we were catching up on life. Some guy behind us said, “I don’t understand you girls. Why do you have to talk like that?” When we inquired as to what he might be referring, he did a dramatic valley-girl impression.
Granted, the girl from Columbia did use the word “like” an awful lot. But so the hell what? It wasn’t any of his business. He had no right to interject an insult. As the saying goes, “Them’s fightin’ words!”
I want to know how adult human beings have no better perspective on life. How do people manage to hold jobs or have friendships (and relationships) when they fail to give respect to others?
Why do you think our generation is so damn confrontational, anyway? Were we too empowered by our baby-boomer parents? Are we that arrogant that we think the urge to express our ridiculous opinions overrides common courtesy?
Sheesh. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Prachee. People suck sometimes.
October 1st, 2006 at 10:12 am